I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize