its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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