Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
