There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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