just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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