i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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