Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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