Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
