Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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