So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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