I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
