he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
