oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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