dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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