he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
