Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
