i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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