He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
