if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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