There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
