the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize