fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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