Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
