I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
