If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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