you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
