i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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