it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
