plz talk dirty to me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't turn off my feet"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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