There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
