seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Panties = found
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