Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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