i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
