ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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