dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
