Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
