guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
