Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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