fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
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Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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