Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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