Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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