ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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