hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
