the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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