i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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