Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
