He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
