my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
