I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
