Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
