the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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