I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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