no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
