imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
