this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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