I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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