i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
