you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
