I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
